As I wait...

   Today I am sitting in a doctor's office... This is a common occurrence in my life now. I probably spend more time waiting for results than I actually do hearing them. In July I was diagnosed with degenerative kidney disease. This is not the proper name for it, but what it is is that my own body is rejecting the kidneys that I was born with. I haven't told a lot of people because it's just not my style. I would rather be happy and make others happy than to have them feel sorry for me. This is something I have to deal with. So anyways, back to waiting... As I wait I have reflected a lot. I would first like to say I love who I am. I love my personality and I know I have a lot to give to the world. I haven't ever truly felt this except the last couple months or so. I also love the knowledge that I have of being a Child of God, not only that but a beautiful daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who loves me in all of my craziness. This past year I have felt weak, pathetic, and just plain stupid. I have struggled with the thought of living in my small town alone. I always imagined coming back to Duncan with a husband and maybe a couple kids. Not single. I have struggled with not having that companionship because it would be so nice to have a man to hold my hand and to walk through this challenge together.  I know that I am going to make an awesome wife and mother someday. I know that my man is looking for me just as much as I'm looking for him. The purpose of this post is not for anyone to feel sorry for me or to set me up on blind dates but to inform myself that I'm okay. I still love to laugh. I have learned I still love to cheer and am so thankful that I have been assistant coaching this year. It brings me such joy and it helps distract me from my sometimes negative self. I still love Duncan despite all the drama. I love being a Wildkat and am so proud of how I was raised.I still love going for drives and blasting my Country music. I love my family. I have had so much support from my parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I love myself and who I am. I hope each of you love who you are and know who you are. I love each one of you that took the time to read this dramatic rant! Please be kind and love everyone you come in contact with. Please see the light in everyone you see.